Those Voices
by Scarlett Rogue
Summary: Spock has multiple personalities in his head. When one makes him hurt his bond mate, will he have the strength to vanquish them all? Mentions of Spirk.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Spock has multiple personalities in his head. When one makes him hurt his bond mate, will he have the strength to vanquish them all? Mentions of Spirk.**

**Rated: T **

**A reference for the reading:**

_Italicized = Saber_**  
>Bold = Sam<br>_Italicized Bold = Sterling  
><em>**"quotations" = Spock

**P.S. This is obviously AU. If you can't grasp your head around that, don't bother dropping me a useless anonymous review. I don't want to have to disable them.**

**ENJOY!**

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><p><em>I have seen your mind. I know what you desire most. I know you want to taste it...<em>

**Don't listen ****to him! He wants you to fall, to crumble. We do not want this, do we, friend?**

"No. We do not. Go away, Saber."

_But you need me. I give you strength. You would be nothing without me._

**You're the one who got us into this mess! Look what you've done!**

_I've done what needed to be done. Now, feast._

"NO! That is- We cannot do this! I won't!"

_Then you will die._

**Don't listen to him, Spock! He's trying to fill your head with poison.**

**_Spock? Spock, what are you doing? Oh my god, what have you done! Is he okay?_**

"Silence, Sterling! Go back to bed."

**_But I can't sleep. I heard screaming. I'm scared, Spock!_**

_Maybe we should show the child our work. He is bound to know eventually._

**Are you insane? Sterling, dear, go back to bed. We'll wake you up later.**

**_Okay..._**

_Quit babying him, Sam. He won't be a child forever. He will grow up, as we all have._

**He does not have to grow up like you! Spock, take him to medical.**

"I can't. They will find out. I want- NO!"

_Yes, say it Spock. You want blood. Do it, do it!_

**No Spock, you can't, you love him!**

_Nature over nurture, dear friend!_

**_Spock, you're scaring me! Why are you doing this?_**

**Sterling, go BACK to bed!**

_DO IT NOW!_

"SHUT UP!" Spock grabbed at his head, pulling his hair with searing anger and agony. The voices in his head went silent.

He hadn't meant to do it. It was an accident, an accident that nearly cost him the man he loved. Jim was sprawled out on the floor, eyes closed, blood pooling underneath his gashed wrist where Spock had bit and torn the skin open. He never meant to. Saber told him to bite harder, said that Jim would like it, and the next thing he knew, red, warm blood burst into his mouth.

He knew Jim fainted at the sight of blood. He had taken one look at his bloody wrist and closed his eyes as his body slumped uselessly to the floor.

"Oh, Jim..." He had listened, and for that his mate was passed out on the floor. And a vicious creature inside of his mind was telling Spock to taste Jim's sweet blood once more. He leaned forward; the smell of Jim's blood mingled with the familiar scent of his cologne was so tempting. He thought maybe one more taste wouldn't hurt. One more taste would silence the beast within.

**No, Spock. He needs McCoy. Take him to McCoy.**

Spock heard the faint sound of Sam's stern yet gentle voice in his head.

"I cannot. He will find out. He will find you!"

**Perhaps it is time he does. Perhaps it is time we left your mind alone. You would be better off.**

"But...What will I do without your wisdom, Sam?"

**You survived without me for years. You can do it again.**

Spock bowed his head over the body of his unconscious lover. He could still smell the blood in the air, but the scent repulsed him now. He couldn't hurt Jim. He had already done enough damage as it was. And yet, he was not ready to part with Sam. Sam was his strength, his courage. And Sterling! Sterling was like a little brother to him. He couldn't say good-bye to him. It was too much to deal with. He knelt on the bedroom floor, his knees soaking in the red liquid that was pooling around him. He knew he had to choose. Jim, or them.

**_Tuck me in one last time, Spock. I'm ready to go to bed._**

"Sterling..." Spock choked on his own tears as they welled up and fell from his eyes. How could he chose? Both were parts of him. Either way, he would lose something.

**Would you really like to spend the rest of your life with Saber? Look what he made you do. Look at Jim. Look at his pale skin. He is dying, Spock. He is dying thanks to us.**

Spock reached for Jim's wrist and held two fingers against it, trying to find a pulse. It was there, but barely. Sam was right, of course; Jim was dying. His bond mate was dying.

"I will..."

**_Just go, Spock. I'll miss you, big brother._**

**Good-bye, friend.**

_You're making a mistake. You know it. You need us._

"No." Spock wrapped his hands around Jim and pulled the man off the ground, ignoring the snarls he was receiving from Saber. Sam was right; his life would be better off without them. They were all parts of him, pieces left over from childhood isolation, murderous vengeance and those few content moments when he felt strong. He had to let them go.

Spock carried Jim as fast as he could to McCoy. He found the Doctor perched over a transparency. McCoy looked over at the sound of Spock's entrance and gasped loud enough for the entire hoard of medical workers to hear.

"What the hell happened to him!" Spock lay Jim down on a bed and watched carefully as McCoy went to work bandaging up Jim's wrist.

"These look like bite marks. Spock, who did this?"

**_Bye-bye._**

_Fool!_

**You're doing the right thing.**

Spock swallowed the lump in his throat but couldn't hold back round two of his tears. "I did." McCoy whipped his head around, eyes bugging out of their sockets in shock.

"W-what!"

"I...have something to tell you."

**Bye, Spock. **

"Good-bye," he whispered under his breath, before telling McCoy the entire story.

**Huh. Weird fic. Very weird. Anyways, let me know what you thought, please! :) Thanks for readers! Flames are not welcome.**


	2. Chapter 2

**In all honesty, I wasn't going to make another chapter. It was meant to be a one-shot, but my wonderful reviewers asked for a bit of back story and I knew they were right, this story needs a little back story. So, you win! Here it is, and I hope you all enjoy it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)**

**Summary: Through childhood fears, hurtful vengeance and mature wisdom, Spock finds multiple personalities joining him in his mind.**

**REFERENCE!  
><strong>

_Italics = Saber_**  
>Bold = Sam<br>_Bold Italics = Sterling_**

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><p>"Perhaps an emotional response requires physical stimuli." The bully stepped forward and shoved Spock back. He only staggered about a foot, but he felt his temperature rising with fear. Would he try to hit him? Spock had never been in a fight before. Should he hit back? What would his father think?<p>

_Who cares? He deserves it._

"He's a traitor, you know. For marrying her. That human _whore_."

_How dare he! Hit him!_

Spock felt dizzy and he was sure he was losing his mind. A voice inside his head was telling him to act so...so _human_. He couldn't hit the other boy. He was awful, sure, but Spock was still half-Vulcan. He had to at least act like he had self-control.

_What are you doing? You're going to let him talk about your mother that way? About your father? _

Spock tried to shut out the voice. He had never heard it before. He couldn't understand why it was showing up now. He didn't need it. He needed his mother.

_She isn't here. And she won't be, if you let them take her away from you. They will suck out your love for her, they will make you hate her._

Spock could never hate his mother. This voice inside his head was insane. He couldn't listen.

_They would kill her if given the chance. They would kill her._

"Ahhh!" Spock pushed the boy over. They fell to the ground and before he knew it a fist collided with his face. He felt his lip burst open and tasted the blood on his tongue.

_Get up! Attack!_

The punch hurt, but not enough to keep Spock away. He tripped the older boy, climbed on top of him, and beat the living hell out of him. With every punch, the voice in his head laughed with menacing joy. A part of him felt sick, disgusted by the pain he was inflicting, but another part just wanted him to _hurt_.

_And he will. He will know your pain, my friend._

O.o.O

"You are fully capable of choosing your own destiny. The question you face is, which path will you choose?" Spock's father patted his son on the back and walked off, leaving him to his thoughts. Spock felt so scared and lost. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be like every other Vulcan. He wanted control.

"This is all your fault!" he whispered bitterly.

_You enjoyed it just as much as I did, young one._

"Get out of my head!" Tears trickled down his face, one running over his busted lip and making it sting. He leaned over into a ball and cried harder. He had to choose between being like everyone else and being himself. It wasn't fair. He shouldn't have to compromise himself to make other people happy.

_You are acting like a coward._

_**Leave him alone.**_

_Who are you!_

_**I'm Sterling. At least, that's what my daddy calls me. What's your name, Mister?**_

_Uh...Saber. And I have no father._

_**Aw, that's very sad.**_

_It is a sign of strength, actually._

It was as if Spock's tears had frozen in place. He listened intently to the conversation going on in his head. There were two now. He could barely handle one! What if this one was just like the other?

_**I'm not, I promise. I'm not a meanie.**_

Meanie? Hm, this appeared to be a child. A very human child.

"What do _you _want from me, then?"

_**I want you to not hold in your feelings. Daddy says it's bad for you. **_

_Ugh, he wants you to cry!_

"I can't, I'm Vulcan. It's a sign of weakness!" Spock was still fighting to keep the tears in.

_**Only half. And even Vulcans feel pain and heartbreak. You're not alone.**_

_Don't listen to this child!_

"Go away, Saber!" Spock's voice echoed off the walls of the large room but nobody was around to hear him. He listened for a second and sighed in relief when he didn't hear or feel Saber anywhere. "S-sterling?"

**_I'm here. I won't leave you. We're friends, after all._**

"I don't have any friends," Spock said, his voice cracking on the last word.

**_You do now._**

O.o.O

"It is truly remarkable, Spock, that you have achieved so much, despite your disadvantage."**** Spock jerked his eyes up to the Minister once more. What had he just said?

_Kill him!_

**_Will you shut up?_**

"If you could clarify, Minister, to what disadvantage?"

_Come now, you know what he meant._

"Your human mother," he said, as if he had no problem insulting the man's own mother right in front of him. It was incredibly rude behavior for a Vulcan, but Spock had long ago gotten used to the assumption that humans didn't apply to the Vulcan code of general civility.

Bu Spock wasn't a child anymore. His father had once told him that he was capable of choosing his own path. He had spent his entire life trying to be better than everyone else, trying to show everyone that he was not at a disadvantage. Rather, having a human mother had made him a better person. He was not prejudice like everyone else seemed to be. He loved his mother more than anything or anyone.

After all his efforts, this man was standing before him telling him that she had been a disadvantage?

**You don't need this.**

_Who the hell are you!_

**_YAY, another friend!_**

**Spock, walk away. You don't need this. **

_I said, who are you?_********

**Spock, walk away.**

Spock looked at his dad for guidance, but his father said nothing. It made him angry, but most of all, it gave him strength. The new voice told him to do what he had always secretly wanted to do. So he declined. They were clearly upset, but who cared?

_They can deal with it._

**Agree.**

**_Totally agree._**

"Live long and prosper." Spock spun on his heel and walked out of the room quickly. He headed straight home to tell his mother than he would be joining to Starfleet.****

**_Good job!  
><em>**

_Yeah, fuck 'em!_

"Watch your language, Saber."

**I'm proud of you**

_WHO ARE YOU!_

**My name is Sam. **

"Hello Sam. Thank you for that, and welcome to the group.

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><p><strong>Hm, not sure how I feel about this. Well, let me know at any rate! :)<strong>** Thanks for reading!~**

**~Alex**_  
><em>


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